While you degenerates were sweating your NFL parlays this weekend, the poker world was heating up in the Bahamas and Las Vegas. Two major tournaments are reaching their climax, and the money on the line is enough to make even the most jaded grinder pay attention.

The Quick Hit

• Big Winner: Johan Guilbert ships the $25K WSOP Paradise event for $1,534,645
• Coming Friday: WPT Prime Championship final table with Qing Liu holding the chip lead
• The Scene: WSOP Paradise running December 4-18 at Atlantis in the Bahamas
• The Move: If you're a poker degen, you know these are the events to watch

Johan Guilbert's Million-Dollar Score

The WSOP Paradise series is happening right now at Atlantis Paradise Island in the Bahamas, and Johan Guilbert just had the week of his life.

Guilbert took down Event #14: the $25,000 GGMillion$ Single Day Turbo for a cool $1,534,645. Eelis Parssinen finished second for $1,043,400 — not a bad consolation prize, but definitely not the same as shipping it.

This is the kind of score that changes a poker career. Guilbert was already a respected pro, but now he's got a seven-figure tournament win on his resume and a massive bankroll boost heading into 2026.

Other WSOP Paradise Winners

Guilbert wasn't the only one stacking chips in the Caribbean:

• Matthias Eibinger won the Triton Poker title for $1,570,640 — actually MORE than Guilbert's win
• Mark Darner shipped Event #1, the $2,500 WSOP Circuit Championship Mystery Bounty, for $350,000

The series runs through December 18, with Event #11 (the $25,000 Super Main Event) and Event #15 (the $2,500 Closer Turbo Bounty) still in progress.

If you're not in the Bahamas right now, we're sorry for your loss. And also sorry for the weather wherever you are.

WPT Prime Championship: Final Table Friday

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, the WPT Prime Championship has reached its final table, which plays out on Friday, December 19.

Here's who's left:

Qing Liu (Chip Leader): Already above $4 million in career earnings with a locked-in prize of $250,000 for sixth place. He's the one to beat.

Safiya Umerova: The only woman at the final table and already a gold bracelet winner from the 2016 WSOP Shootout. She knows how to close.

Aaron Johnson: Running absolutely hot right now. He's coming off an MSPT Main Event win in Chicago ($92,000) and has won two MSPT Main Events total with 13 top tens. Momentum is real.

Tim Burden: Dangerous player looking to add a WPT title to his resume.

Uri Foox: Rounding out the final five, ready to make a run.

The Stakes

First place at the WPT Prime Championship comes with more than just money (though there's plenty of that). There's also:

• A Wynn trophy (shaped like the Wynn itself, which is pretty baller)
• The WPT Prime Championship trophy
• A $10,400 entry into next year's WPT World Championship at Wynn Las Vegas

For players at this level, the entry into next year's big event is almost as valuable as the cash. It's essentially a free shot at another seven-figure score.

Why Poker's Having a Moment

Between WSOP Paradise, the WPT Prime Championship, and EPT Prague (where Matan Krakow just won the Main Event for €778,255), December 2025 is stacked with poker action.

The game is thriving. High-stakes tournaments are selling out. The prize pools are massive. And there's something about watching degenerates battle for million-dollar pots that hits different than any other sport.

The Bottom Line

If you're a poker degen, this is your Super Bowl week. WSOP Paradise wrapping up in the Bahamas, WPT Prime Championship final table on Friday, and massive pots being shipped left and right.

Johan Guilbert just reminded everyone that one day, one tournament, can change everything. Friday, we'll find out if Qing Liu can hold onto his chip lead, if Safiya Umerova can add another title to her resume, or if Aaron Johnson can continue his heater.

Shuffle up and deal.