Listen up, degenerates. The Powerball jackpot just hit $1.6 BILLION with a B, and tonight's drawing could crown the newest member of the obscenely wealthy club. Nobody hit Saturday's numbers, which means the pot keeps growing and our collective delusions of grandeur remain intact.

This is the 4th largest lottery jackpot in American history. Fourth. And you can buy a ticket for two dollars.

The Quick Hit

• Tonight's jackpot: $1.6 billion (cash option: $735.3 million)
• The drought: 45 consecutive drawings without a jackpot winner
• Historical context: 4th largest Powerball ever, 5th largest U.S. lottery jackpot
• The move: Buy a ticket. Or ten. Math be damned.

Why This One Hits Different

This is only the second time in Powerball history that we've had back-to-back billion-dollar jackpots. The last time was in 2023, and both of those winners were in California. The universe owes the rest of us.

Saturday night's numbers were 4, 5, 28, 52, and 69, with Powerball 20 and a 3x multiplier. Nobody matched all six, though three lucky bastards hit $2 million by matching five numbers plus the multiplier.

Let's Talk About That Cash Option

If you win tonight and take the lump sum, you're looking at $735.3 million before taxes. After Uncle Sam takes his cut, you're probably looking at around $360-400 million depending on your state.

Is that still life-changing money? Fuck yes it is. You could buy 180 Bugatti Chirons. You could pay the entire Chicago Bears roster for three years. You could lose it all at the Bellagio high limit room in about six months if you really commit to the bit.

The Annuity Argument

Some financial advisor types will tell you to take the annuity option — 30 annual payments that increase 5% each year. On paper, you end up with more money. In practice, who wants to wait 30 years to be fully rich? We're degenerates, not pension fund managers.

Your Odds (Don't Think About It)

The odds of winning tonight are 1 in 292.2 million. That's roughly the same odds as:

• Getting struck by lightning twice in your lifetime
• Dating a supermodel who is also a billionaire
• The Cleveland Browns winning back-to-back Super Bowls

But you know what? Somebody has to win eventually. Forty-five drawings have come and gone. The dam has to break sometime.

The Bottom Line

Tonight at 10:59 PM ET, five white balls and one red Powerball will drop, and somebody's life might change forever. Will it be you? Almost certainly not. But "almost certainly not" isn't "definitely not," and that slim margin of hope is worth two bucks.

Buy the ticket. Dream the dream. And if you hit, remember the degenerate news outlet that believed in you when nobody else did.

LFG.