Merry Fucking Christmas, degenerates. The Powerball jackpot just grew to $1.7 BILLION for Christmas Eve, making it the fourth-largest jackpot in United States lottery history. If that's not a holiday miracle, I don't know what is.

Nobody matched all six numbers in Monday night's drawing — the 46th consecutive drawing without a grand prize winner — which means the pot keeps growing and our collective delusions of financial freedom remain fully intact.

The Quick Hit

• Christmas Eve jackpot: $1.7 billion (cash option: $781.3 million)
• The drought: 46 consecutive drawings without a winner
• Historical ranking: 4th largest in Powerball AND U.S. lottery history
• The move: Buy your ticket, call in sick on December 26th (just in case)

Monday's Numbers (If You're Wondering Where It All Went Wrong)

The winning numbers from Monday night's drawing were 3, 18, 36, 41, and 54, with Powerball 7. Nobody matched all six, but there were eight million-dollar winners across the country who hit five numbers. Eight fucking people won a million dollars, and they're probably the most conflicted humans on the planet right now. "I won a million dollars" sounds great until you realize you were one number away from 1.7 billion.

Wednesday's Drawing Sets a Record

Here's a fun stat for your family Christmas dinner: Wednesday night's drawing will be the 47th in this jackpot cycle — a record for the most consecutive drawings in Powerball history without a grand prize winner.

The last time someone hit the Powerball jackpot was September 6th, when two tickets from Missouri and Texas split a $1.787 billion prize. Since then? Nothing. Nada. Just 46 drawings of collective disappointment and growing anticipation.

Let's Talk Real Numbers

If you win on Christmas Eve and take the lump sum, you're looking at $781.3 million before taxes. After Uncle Sam and your state (depending on where you live) take their cuts, you're probably walking away with somewhere in the $380-450 million range.

That's still generational wealth. That's "I'll never work another day in my life" money. That's "my grandchildren's grandchildren will be set" money. It's also enough to buy approximately 781 million lottery tickets for the next drawing, but let's not get carried away.

The Odds (Which You're Going to Ignore Anyway)

Your chances of winning the grand prize are 1 in 292.2 million. To put that in perspective, you're more likely to be struck by lightning while being attacked by a shark on your birthday.

But here's the thing — somebody has to win eventually. Could be tomorrow. Could be you. The math says no, but the heart says maybe, and that's really all we need to justify buying five tickets at the gas station on Christmas Eve.

The Bottom Line

Christmas Eve Powerball at $1.7 billion is basically the universe giving every degen in America permission to dream a little bigger this holiday season. Forget the socks and gift cards — the only present that matters is a winning ticket.

Get your numbers, say a prayer, and remember: if you hit, drinks are on you forever.